


Wait

by The_Heartsmith



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Autism, Autistic Gamzee, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Stimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 05:06:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12549684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Heartsmith/pseuds/The_Heartsmith
Summary: Gamzee isn’t stupid, he just needs some time to figure things out.Or, alternatively, the Autistic!Gamzee fic no one asked for.





	Wait

**Author's Note:**

> If my beta would stop sending me Hidashi smut fics I would greatly appreciate it!
> 
> *looks at SP* Please.

Gamzee has a lot of things he understands.

It’s mostly things he doesn’t, but those he can understand he cherishes as much as he can.

He understands clowns, because clowns are supposed to be funny, and they are. They do silly things and juggle and laugh, so he laughs as well. He understands horns, because the force of the air pressing out of the metal is what makes the sound. He understands personal space, mostly, because there are moments when he himself doesn’t like others being near. (But sometimes that’s hard to understand, too. People are unpredictable.)  ( ~~He understands blood, too, when it seeps out from underneath his clubs and soothes the hunger in his brain. It squlech-squelch-squelches when he walks in it, and he likes it even when it’s hot and icky and sticks to his shoes. It’s perfect for painting miracles with.)~~ He understands colors, and shapes, because both have an order that can always be applied to all things.

But he doesn’t understand math, or words, or people. They have too many weird rules, too many exceptions and too many symbols. Speaking is hard, too. Harder than it is for the others. So Gamzee just draws, and paints, and sometimes he plays music. He does prefer silence, though.

Too many sounds hurts his ears, too much light hurts his eyes, and too many things at once hurts his head. Sometimes he needs to be alone, when his head hurts, to sort the new information in his mind. There are moments when he isn’t left alone, though, and that’s when it becomes to much. So he screams. And he pulls at his hair and he cries and his skin burns because they _touch him_ when he’s like this and he doesn’t like it and-

Karkat comes. And Karkat is allowed to touch him, because Karkat is his most pale diamond in all of the universes, and every time Gamzee sees him it’s like he calms, deep inside, because Karkat is warm and soft and perfect for pressing against when everything is bad. Karkat is like one of those heavy blankets his lusus brought him when he was little, or like the squish and _honk_ his horns produce when he squeezes them in his palm.

Karkat is safe.

So he pulls him close, and he holds him in his arms until he’s calm enough to think again, and by then Karkat has nearly always ordered the others to scatter. He rants a lot, and sometimes Gamzee likes to listen.

He smiles when he feels his warm body in his arms, and his soft, gray skin against his own. His skin isn’t rough like a highblood’s, and he isn’t cold or crazy or filled with hatred that sparks Gamzee’s chucklevoodoos and makes his head hurt. Karkat is mostly sad, and angry.   


It makes his bloodpusher clench a little in his chest, thinking of that. He’s Gamzee’s miraculous best friend, and he doesn’t deserve to be so scared all the time. He’s too special to feel like that.

But Gamzee doesn’t understand, so he doesn’t press it. Maybe it’ll come to him if he waits. He’s good at waiting.

 

He usually understands after a while.

**Author's Note:**

> This was wEIRDLY WRITTEN, but that’s probably because, um. That’s how my thoughts are most of the time.
> 
> Yeah.


End file.
